Who Is A Toxic Person?

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As we go about our daily activities, it’s very likely that we come across people who literally bring down more than they bring us up.

Such people seem not to see anything good in us and tend to be on the look out for any ‘wrong’ thing we may do.

It’s definitely not easy living with such people and these people have become known as toxic people.

So then, who is a toxic person?

In order to detoxify our lives, we first need to be able to understand and spot a person with toxic qualities.

They look like everyone else, talk like everyone else, and can even be hiding in your friendship group, your family, or your romantic relationship.

People with toxic qualities are master manipulators, skilled liars, and great actors.

And every time you talk to toxic people, chances are you’ll feel; exhausted, emotionally drained, and negative.

Toxic people are so skilled at manipulating their victims to the extent that it gets to a point where their victims begin to feel dependent on him or her for their opinion, while doubting their very own opinion.

How To Recognize Toxic People

According to Nancy Irwin, PsyD, of Seasons Rehab Center in Malibu, California, as well as author, therapist, and general badass survivor Shannon Thomas, LCSW, the best gauge to recognize toxic people is to analyze how you feel after interacting with someone; our physical and emotional reactions to people are our best indicators.

However, other signs to look out for include;

  1. Being judgmental: This person may constantly pass judgment on you and others.
  2. Obsessive neediness: This person places huge strains on your time and energy.
  3. Denialist: This person refuses to take responsibility or apologize for their actions and always blame others.

Dealing With Toxic People

image via: eehealth.com

Dealing with a toxic person is all about setting boundaries.

For example, you may not return a toxic person’s call right away and, instead, wait for about an hour to call back. This goes a log way in reducing that “need” to kowtow to their whims and caprices.

Another school of thought is that since it is more likely that toxic people will never change, the best thing to do is to implement a little to no contact policy.

This policy is to ensure that you do not make contact with them at all but will only make contact when it’s very necessary to do so.

However, this policy has to be implemented gradually.

You can begin by giving yourself some distance before you start tapering off the contact. In as much as this is harder if the person is your current partner or a former partner with whom you have kids, you still need to take that giant first step.

If they are a co-worker, try your best to avoid situations that will lead to having conversations with them.

If they are a sibling, you might try family therapy and set boundaries. If they’re an ex, lose their email/phone number.

The bottom line is that you have to be in charge of your life and must not allow anyone to make you feel less worthy.

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